well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Randomize
