i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I believe in your delicious
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
