Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You are a genius and a whore.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
