I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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