Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
