"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
