matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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