I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Every concussion has its silver lining
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize