youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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