i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the condom got lost in my hair
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
