i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
