We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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