How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
