so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
