he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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