I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My ass is underappreciated
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
