I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
