We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
