I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
