i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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