If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
