I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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