Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
