they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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