she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
