just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
