i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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