So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
