What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
