Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
A bitchslap is in order.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
