I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
