my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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