he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
