i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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