Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize