We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
