Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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