i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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