I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
