Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
