how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
