i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
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i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize