So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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