What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
