ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
