my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
