Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
