you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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