she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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