i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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