i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
