Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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