What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize